It's ArbCom time again!

I normally don't pay much attention to Wikipedia goings on, but I've been asked by too many people to take a position on the Arbcom candidates, so here you go.

• Adam Cuerden: Don't know him, but his statement, that he wants to speed up the Arbitration process, indicates that he does not fully appreciate the true purpose of the process.
  
• Cbrown1023: How could I fail to endorse this little puppy dog who just wants to be my friend? Seriously, it's really funny how many private messages I've gotten from Cbrown over the years telling me how much he loves me.
  
• David Fuchs: I vaguely recall David Fuchs from his AMA days. As the AMA's main function was to drag out Arbitrations, thereby increasing the opportunity to create Drama, I'm sure he'll be quite suitable for the role he now seeks.
  
• Deskana: Deskana is obviously a very adept navigator of Wikipedia's inner political games, having managed to score checkuser rights. Might as well let him punch another slot in his scorecard. Don't let his fundamental incompetence and laziness interfere; Arbitrators don't have to do any work anyway (just ask Raul654).
  
• Dreamafter: People who've failed an RfA are, almost by default, highly qualified to serve as Arbitrators. At least Dreamafter isn't a member of Wikipedia's inner sycophantic circle -- yet.
  
• Durova: Why choose the lesser of two evils?
  
• Endlessdan: One of the few candidates who isn't obviously invovled in Wikipolitics. Sadly, I think his creative originality would be quickly stifled. Still, definitely in the top three.
  
• Giano: Ah, the grand master of all drama. Clearly the top candidate in the field, although White Cat gives him a close run. A vote for Giano is a vote for maximal drama; the Arbitration process would certainly be improved by the occasional Arbitrator temper-tantrum, and with Fred Bauder leaving the Committee will be in need of a court jester.
  
• Hemlock Martinis: Has shown some talent for drama in the past. Not terrible, but I can't bring myself to endorse nonetheless.
  
• JoshuaZ: tl;dr.
  
• Messedrocker: At least he's unlikely to die before the end of his term -- he won't even be driving yet.
  
• Misza13: Because Arbcom is the ultimate in playing whack-a-mole!
  
• Monsieurdl: Might as well vote for him; he'll burn out within six months and then Jimbo can appoint a crony to better maximize drama. Certainly better than voting for Newyorkbrad.
  
• Moreschi: Demonstrated his ability to generate drama when he conominated me for admin. That took moxie, it did.
  
• Newyorkbrad: Too stuffy, and his attitudes toward arbitration are totally not structured toward generating drama. And he has shown no propensity for creating drama and in fact seems to try to minimize it. Clearly unsuitable. And worse, he's likely to stick to the job if elected.
  
• NHRHS2010: Name too random. Get a real username and try again.
  
• Phil Sandifer: Only vote for Phil if you vote for Giano too. Then you could sell tickets to committee meetings.
  
• Physchim62: Abuses apostrophes.
  
• Pilotguy: Don't vote for him. He has better things to do, like go to fraternity parties. Really.
  
• Raul654: Raul has demonstrated very well over the past three years how one can take membership in the Committee and use it to further one's own ego without actually doing all that much work. Just show up every few months and vote on a few random cases, plus make sure you do whatever the FA wankers say so they'll continue to worship you. Not reelecting Raul might lead to instability in the community due to massive ego unloading, so it's imperative that he be reelected.
  
• Ryan Postlethwaite: Just reading his name makes me spit on my screen.
  
• Shell Kinney: Doesn't understand that the ArbCom is about dispute prolongation, not about dispute resolution.
  
• Stifle: Never heard of this person. By the looks of it, is too good of an article author to have his time wasted on Arbitration.
  
• Swatjester: Highly qualified; very adept at creating drama by making snap judgments on issues without bothering to examine the facts or contemplate likely reaction to his actions. Kneejerk reactions are always good at creating drama -- definitely a strong candidate.
  
• Thebainer: Just what Wikipedia needs, another junior lawyer.
  
• White Cat: White Cat would be my top candidate, except for Giano being in the race. His ability to keep grudges for years at a time and to remember small details that everyone else has long since forgotten will serve him very well as an Arbitrator. Also, his recent removal as an op in the #wikipedia channel is just proof of his commitment to fighting corruption whereever it might be found.
  
• Wizardman: Needs to run for bureaucrat first.
  

Note: I don't plan to be voting myself. Arbcom is completely irrelevant to anyone who is participating in Wikipedia for the purpose of writing an encyclopedia, so there's really no reason for sane people to be voting on it at all -- or even acknowledging its existence. My recommendations take this reality into consideration, and are therefore based mainly on who I think would make the ArbCom the most amusing, that being the most it could possibly hope to aspire to. Please consider not voting in the elections; you will be happier if you don't.